Idiots are invincible - Dr Ro

Kind Words

“A scientifically-based integrative approach to dealing with stress, written in the most accessible way! The best of both worlds!” – Dr G. Sideridis, Harvard Medical School

“Your books have been monumental readings to me.” – G. Kyriakides, Training Director, Human Asset Ltd.

“You made me laugh aloud several times. I keep thinking about the cartoons and smile inside me. Congratulations for your wonderful book. You have done an amazing job!” – T. Maria, Lawyer

“A book for a lifetime! I have thought of a few dozens of friends that absolutely need to read it.” – C. Vovori

“A friend recommended that I should follow the Ro therapy. Thank you for your contribution in making our life more beautiful.” – V. Anthoulakis, Army Officer

“This is the first time that a book motivates me to contact the author. It is really a great piece of work. Well organized, combines theory and practice with a lot of humour. It can serve as a guide.” – S. Athina, Lecturer, Aristotle University

“I really enjoy readings your books! They improve my mood. They were exactly what I needed and have helped me in my personal and professional development. Keep writing in the same spirit.” – T. Elissavet

“Incredible writing style, with so much humour that someone may indeed consider changing his or her habits. Check it out. I do not know the author; I was impressed and just wished to express it.” – Andria’s blog

“If you could cast a spell on Angelos Rodafinos, what would it do? … Make him write a third book!” – P. Megremis

Prologue to the English edition

Those who read the title of my book Idiots are Invincible, nod condescendingly in agreement: “Indeed, the author is right, they really are invincible,” thinking most probably of people other than themselves. I do not know who they are thinking of, but no one, until now, has happened to come across my book and agree: “Indeed, the author is right, we really are invincible.” I am beginning to think that perhaps idiots are mythical creatures, as I have yet to meet a single one!

The truth is that when I started writing the book, I also had “the others” in mind: the boss, the professor, the referee, the inept driver, the rude employee, the clumsy waitress, the delayed colleague, the annoying salesperson, the mother-in-law and generally anyone who doesn’t behave “properly,” i.e., “the way we would like them to behave!” [Obviously, I do not refer to mental retardation but to people who simply have a different outlook and behaviour to us].

At some point, however, I realized that as a manager, professor, driver, co-worker, I am often the idiot in other people’s lives. In their opinion I do not always behave properly, i.e., “as they would want me to!” Later, I also realised that more often I was the “idiot” for myself! Irrational thoughts and beliefs such as: “everyone must love me,” “my house must always be clean,” “I must be a good husband, lover, manager, father, son, friend …” create problems and imbalances for us and those around us.

If some books can change your life, I am confident that the present book will change, if not the conditions in your life, at least the way you think and how you see your life – and for the better.

At least this is what several hundreds of the thousands of readers of Idiots are Invincible who have contacted me in the past few years have claimed.

If what you have tried so far has not produced the desired results, and if your approach to life is not working out the way you would like, it may be time to try something new – absorb the ideas described in the following pages and test the “Ro” method for yourself. You have absolutely nothing to lose but a little time.

In fact, if my prediction is right and the claim many readers have made is valid, the immediate benefits of reading this book are likely to include the following:

– More effective problem solving

– Better decisions and choices

– Improved interpersonal relationships

– Less tension, anxiety, worry and guilt

– A stronger immune system

– A feeling of control

– Increased self-esteem

– A healthier body

– A more pleasant and satisfying life

Enough with the promotion.

At www.rodafinos.weebly.com you will find the … Idiots’ Club a.k.a Boneheads’ Academy Blog, where you can share your stories and your ideas for dealing with idiots and adverse situations. Research (e.g., Pennebaker et al., 1988) showed that talking about the problem or confiding, even in the form of a diary or on a simple piece of paper – even if we just throw it away and never show it to the person who caused our emotions – is connected to more efficient operation of the immune system and better overall health. Arm yourselves with pen and paper and … move over Anna Frank!

Record your stories concerning the town planning committee supervisor, the grumpy newsagent, your school teacher, the tax office clerk, your boyfriend or girlfriend, etc. Remember to add what you did to feel better and view things differently. Do not forget that we are often the ‘idiots’ for others (and that maybe at this moment they are writing about us) … and even for ourselves.

Enjoy!

Dr Ro

Preface: The End

I think the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work for forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement! You go to college, you do drugs, alcohol, you party, you have sex, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating … You finish off as a gleam in somebody’s eye. – Reverse cycle life, Sean Morey

WHAT A NICE way to start … from the end. Kind of unusual for a book. But this is an unusual book, for unusual people. I am confident that its content will mark the end of a period in your life and the beginning of another, becoming an important aid in reducing negative thoughts and emotions, and living healthier and happier. Now, off we go!

Story: Some escape!

On a cold and rainy winter’s afternoon at an airport, a 12-year-old boy observed several passengers at an airport, waiting for an update on their flight. The flight was delayed, and they looked worn out and glum.

“How come those people look so tired?” he asked his father.

“Perhaps because adult life is tough,” replied the father.

“You mean I will also become like that when I grow up?” the twelve-year-old asked.

Taking a minute to think, his father responded:

“Some people manage to escape.”

Is this how I’ll be when I grow up? I think I’ll pass!

Who manages to “escape?” What kind of coping strategies do people implement when faced with life’s challenges? Why is it that some individuals never seem to be able to cope while some others appear to face less adversity in their lives?

These are the questions that intrigued a number of distinguished researchers, including Paul Stolts, the University of Pennsylvania professor who shared the preceding story, and, of course, myself!

To begin to answer these questions, though, the first thing is really to understand, well, how you are doing.