Idiots are invincible - Dr Ro Страница 7
- Категория: Бизнес / Краткое содержание
- Автор: Dr Ro
- Страниц: 16
- Добавлено: 2020-09-18 10:26:04
Idiots are invincible - Dr Ro краткое содержание
Прочтите описание перед тем, как прочитать онлайн книгу «Idiots are invincible - Dr Ro» бесплатно полную версию:A ‘normal’ life is not always a ‘happy’ life.
“… grant me the courage to change the things that I can change, the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two”, is a popular motto by Alcoholics Anonymous. Most of us fail in the third part, as we hopelessly try to change things that either are not amenable to change or unworthy of our time and energy.
Dealing effectively with either major life events or daily stressors requires the ability to maintain composure / remain calm under pressure, take a time-out and ‘talk sense’ to oneself.
The book aims to educate, entertain and inspire. In the first part the author discusses stress, its sources and its effects, followed by the ‘Ro’ Method, a simple but complete problem solving process, and a number of examples and real life applications. Then, using a light, humorous and innovative style, the author describes the day of ‘Don Stressote,’ a modern Don Quichote de la Mancha and ‘Ro’ Method graduate, who attempts to apply the theory in everyday life situations. Armed with courage and stoicism, Don deals with the monsters and the dragons (the idiots) of the 21st century: his partner who entered the toilette first and is reading the newspaper insensible to the needs of others, the obese fellow in the elevator, the traffic jam, his stupid boss, the thick-skinned client, as well as the most difficult person among all – his own self and his irrational expectations…
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– Every day we receive around several thousand times more stimuli than a hundred years ago and, as if that weren’t enough, existing knowledge doubles (in certain scientific fields) every five years.
– A hundred years ago, deaths from cancer or heart disease were almost unknown (mainly because people died earlier of other diseases, before they reach the age where cancer and heart disease developed). Today, half the fatalities associated with the 10 most serious causes of death are due, largely, to behavioural habits.
– According to a comparison of self-reported stress in three different time periods (1983, 2006, and 2009), levels of stress increased a little during the 2008-9 economic downturn, but increased more for certain groups, such as younger adults and those with low socioeconomic status (Cohen & Janicki-Deverts, 2012).
An American journalist once asked Hans Selye if, given the dramatic increase of stress levels, parents and teachers should teach us how to cope with it more effectively. Selye questioned the assumption about the elevation in stress levels and suggested that every stage of life has its own problems. A century ago we may not have had the threat of a nuclear war, but there was cholera and the plague, that wiped out entire towns and villages. Every age has its own uncertainty, as is the case during the lifetime of an individual: you may be healthy today and ill tomorrow; rich one day and poor the next.
A TAXONOMY
Several approaches have been used to categorize the sources of stress.16 Among others, these include categories according to the type of the problem that creates stress, the characteristics of the situation, time, internal or external factors, etc. As one would expect, these categories often have several common elements. Let us explore some of these in more detail. We will discuss:
A. Dilemma, pressure, frustration, and change (daily stressors and important life events)
B. Loss, guilt, entrapment, boredom
C. Sources of stress at work, and
D. Internal and external stressors.
See if you can identify your sources of stress and examine how they fit into the “boxes” suggested by the experts.
A. Dilemma, pressure, frustration, and change
According to a first distinction, sources of stress may fall into one of the above categories.
The first category is Dilemmas.
Conflicts of needs, decision-making, and having to choose between alternative options (even if both are positive or pleasant) can be quite stressful. This category includes three sub-sets:
a) Approach-Approach (as in caretta-caretta):17 When I have to choose between two similar and positive – or, at least, attractive – goals or choices. For example: “Shall I go on a date with Kate or Sue?” (“Both!” I hear my more dapper readers reply). “Shall I choose chocolate cake or apple pie?” (“Both!” answer my greedy and potentially chubby readers).
b) Avoidance-Avoidance: when I must choose between two negative (unattractive and/or unpleasant) goals, I wonder: “Which is the least bad, therefore the better?” For example, “I must go the dentist, which is unpleasant and painful, or shall I leave it … for another time?”, “Should I remain unemployed or should I accept a demeaning job?”
c) Approach-Avoidance: when there is one goal with both negative and positive aspects. For example, “I am going to ask Penelope out on a date, but what if she turns me down?”, “Double cheeseburgers are tasty, but what about the calories?”, “Shall I get a divorce or stay married?”.
The difficulty of choosing between two alternatives was one of Bob’s main sources of stress.
The second category is Pressure.
There are three sub-sets in this category as well. Pressure to perform or produce more, time pressure (very little time for the realization of disproportionally numerous tasks), and pressure imposed by “social dictates” (these require that we behave in a certain way and, as such, compromise or obey the dictates of society; traditions, fashion trends, behaviour protocols all find their place here).
The third category is Frustration.
In our efforts to achieve targets that are important to us (professional, familial or social), we often come up against unforeseen obstacles that block us from achieving our goals. Although we may have tried very hard, external factors such as other people (e.g., our boss, colleagues, family), a marriage, a pregnancy, or an unavoidable house move, often intercept our planned course. Similarly, a loved one’s chronic health problem can literally put the brakes on our career or personal development.
Another characteristic example is teenagers who often feel frustrated because their options are hindered by their age and related factors such as lack of money, parental control, differential treatment by other adults, etc.
One can significantly reduce the intensity and effects of this type of stress by examining and modifying his/her irrational expectations.18
The fourth category is Change.
According to the definition of stress above, changes are capable of generating stress because they place demands on the individual to adapt. Consequently, any event, pleasant or unpleasant, that necessitates change, can cause stress (occasional or chronic). This category is open to a new demarcation of the sources of stress into Everyday Life Hassles and, Major Life Changes. It appears that the former can be more stressful than the latter.
1) Everyday Life Hassles. Most of us believe that stress is an integral part of everyday life. “Minor” problems, that cause stress on a regular basis, can include: housework, health problems, time pressure, inner concerns (loneliness, insecurities), environmental problems, money worries, work issues, and others.
According to a survey of middle-aged adults in America, the top 10 daily hassles (in order of priority) are:
Concerns about weight, health of a family member, rising prices of common goods, home maintenance, too many things to do, misplacing or losing things, yard work or outside home maintenance, property/investments/taxes, crime, and physical appearance.
Similarly, sources of joy, always in evaluative order and always according to the same study, are:
Good relationship with spouse or lover, good relationships with friends, completion of a project, feeling healthy, satisfactory sleep, eating at a restaurant, fulfilment of one’s obligations, visits/phone calls/mail, spending enough time with one’s family, and pleasant living environment.
2) Major Life Changes. Certain events have a decisive influence on the life of the individual and are accompanied by – or necessitate – important changes and adjustments. Such sources of stress include “shared” disasters such as earthquakes, fires, and war, but also deaths, family of financial problems, imprisonment, as well as positive changes, such as a wedding, a birth, sudden improvement in finances, holidays and travel, etc.
Believing that the future will be just like the present (only … shinier and more comfortable, with less buttons) is absurd. In the words of Kelly Morgan, “Changes are inevitable and not always controllable. What can be controlled is how you manage, react to and work through the change.”
Holmes and Rahe (1970) developed the Social Readjustment Scale,19 a questionnaire in which respondents record the changes that have occurred in their life over the last six months.
The scale contains a points table ranging from 15 (Christmas holidays) to 100 (death of a relative) for every stress-inducing change. Marriage is positioned in the middle of the scale with 50 points! An overall score is produced by adding all points. The researchers found that 80 percent of individuals who scored over 300 points in their study went on to suffer from a serious health problem over the next six months. Only 33 percent of those with a total score below 150, that is with fewer changes in their lives, fell ill!
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