Idiots are invincible - Dr Ro Страница 8

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A ‘normal’ life is not always a ‘happy’ life.

“… grant me the courage to change the things that I can change, the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two”, is a popular motto by Alcoholics Anonymous. Most of us fail in the third part, as we hopelessly try to change things that either are not amenable to change or unworthy of our time and energy.

Dealing effectively with either major life events or daily stressors requires the ability to maintain composure / remain calm under pressure, take a time-out and ‘talk sense’ to oneself.

The book aims to educate, entertain and inspire. In the first part the author discusses stress, its sources and its effects, followed by the ‘Ro’ Method, a simple but complete problem solving process, and a number of examples and real life applications. Then, using a light, humorous and innovative style, the author describes the day of ‘Don Stressote,’ a modern Don Quichote de la Mancha and ‘Ro’ Method graduate, who attempts to apply the theory in everyday life situations. Armed with courage and stoicism, Don deals with the monsters and the dragons (the idiots) of the 21st century: his partner who entered the toilette first and is reading the newspaper insensible to the needs of others, the obese fellow in the elevator, the traffic jam, his stupid boss, the thick-skinned client, as well as the most difficult person among all – his own self and his irrational expectations…

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Critics of this particular study have pointed out several deficiencies, including the fact that the scale does not take into account important parameters such as each individual’s perception of the event, personality, or differing responses to the same event. Moreover, the number of negative events included in the questionnaire is disproportionally larger than the number of positive events.

Other researchers using this scale were able to demonstrate the correlation between psychological stress (positive or negative) and a significant number of physical symptoms and ailments. Yet, due to the nature of the studies (correlational data only) one cannot surmise any cause and effect.

Before you become totally stressed out, we should note that even if an individual attains a high score on the scale, people with a tendency for illness are usually in poor physical and psychological condition anyway. These individuals do not have at their disposal the techniques for dealing with stress that you will acquire if you choose to carry on reading!

Many will wonder: “Is it true that stress is cumulative?”

Most certainly. For example, traffic problems and poor transport conditions steadily increase our arterial blood pressure. Small, everyday problems (e.g., it is raining, the bus is late, a flat tyre, a problem at work, an interpersonal conflict), can often accumulate and end up being more stressful than other apparently more significant events.

Similarly, many positive events in a row can also … cause stress and make us ill! On the other hand, previous successful stress management experiences can help us deal more effectively with similar situations in the future.20

B. Loss, guilt, entrapment, and boredom

Several therapists believe that the following four factors operate subconsciously and create chronic stress:

a) Loss. Examples of this source of stress are theft or damage to material goods (wallet, bicycle, car, etc.). Of course, a major form of loss is separation/divorce or the death of a loved one. Statistical data confirms that often the death of one spouse in an elderly couple is quickly followed by the deterioration in health and death of the other.

b) Guilt. An unpleasant emotion created when the individual believes that they have not behaved according to their own values and principles or those imposed by their social environment. For example, one may experience guilt when s/he considers him/herself responsible for adverse events, not living up to one’s values and standards, adopting bad habits, or for infidelity and deception.

c) Entrapment. An unpleasant feeling created when individuals consider themselves trapped because of circumstances difficult to escape. Examples include a feeling that one is married to the wrong person, in the wrong line of work, not utilizing their skills, stagnation in personal development, etc. Other conditions that can create a permanent feeling of entrapment are problems of financial (too poor or … too rich), social (lack of social life) or familial (single, divorced) nature, but also, problems with one’s physical appearance (too short, too tall, too … blond, etc.).

d) Boredom. According to Selye, boredom stems from a lack of motives, goals, and “meaning” in life, and can lead to psychological and physical wilting. A lack of purpose in life is, in my opinion, the worst form of stress and perhaps the greatest cause of dissatisfaction.

Although our brain occupies only two percent of our body mass, it consumes twenty percent of its overall energy. Just as our gastrointestinal system is in constant need of food and our respiratory system of oxygen, so our brain needs constant stimulation. How long do you think you could sit around doing absolutely nothing?

“Ha, easy, forever!” some will assert. (Et tu, Brute?).21 You’d be surprised! Student volunteers were paid a hundred dollars for every day they spent lying in a room, eyes closed, without any external stimuli.

“Just what I need!” they thought. “Instead of carrying boxes down at the vegetable market to make some pocket money, I’ll get down to some serious idle fun and cheers to the rest of you. Sweet!”

The results? Most students gave up after 24-48 hours. Following a period of inactivity, their brain started producing hallucinations – internal stimuli – to counterbalance the lack of external ones! They still can’t believe it …

Perhaps, in that case, “Hurray for stress” is not such an absurd statement after all!

C. Sources of stress at work: When work becomes slavery

This section is dedicated to people who are exposed to “high voltage” stress at work daily. Let us try to classify the main sources of work-related stress. These groups of stressors relate to the actual nature of their work: the task and its characteristics.

a) The first group relates to the Demands of Tasks. As noted earlier, the need for increased physical effort, repetitive or hard labour, unpleasant work conditions, increased and irregular work hours, the difficulty and volume of work that must be produced, unrealistic goals and pressure for their realization, an exhaustingly fast pace, decision and choices (e.g., between an emphasis on quality or quantity), all are stress-inducing factors.

b) The Structure/Relationships group relates to stressors connected to the relationship structures within the workplace (company, factory, office, or organization). Collaboration with colleagues, the way orders are phrased, negative criticism, misunderstandings, and unclear duties and responsibilities are all important sources of work-related stress.

c) Finally, the Career group relates to issues of professional development within the workplace, such as the lack or superfluity of promotion opportunities, financial insecurity and uncertainty (e.g., maintaining a position or the future of the company).

Who do you think experiences more stress? Directors and managers or lower ranking employees and workers? The answer, as always, is not clear-cut. It depends on several parameters such as the nature of the job, specific tasks, and the personality of the employee.

Among the factors that play an important role in one’s experience of stress is the ability to anticipate stressful events and the degree of perceived control over the event. Unpredictable events, lack of control, and negative feedback relate to increased levels of stress (Weiss, 1971).

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, Sir,” the recruit replied. “Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped by to see you.”

D. Internal and external Stress

Finally, quite important is the distinction between external and internal sources of stress.

a) External sources of stress. Conditions such as excessive noise, heat, pollution, and cramped urban, home, or office space can produce physical and psychological stress.

b) Internal sources of stress. These are due to either physical causes (tooth, head, stomach ache or other ailments), or psychological (often self-generated) stress. For instance, an individual may experience excessive pressure due to increased responsibilities, lack of time or skills required to cope and perform according to high … self-imposed standards.

Hence, a large part of the daily stress we are subjected to exists only “in the eyes of the beholder,” i.e., the person experiencing it. This premise is supported by the fact that humans, in contrast to animals, can trigger the stress or fight or flight response (that will be described in detail later), simply by thought, i.e., without a real, objective, external threat. Nightmares are a helpful example: the bogeyman of your childhood, an imaginary stimulus, can cause psychological (e.g., fear, terror), and actual physical responses (palpitation, shiver, or even enuresis).

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